@AmberTozer: Good thing "you only live once" has really caught on otherwise we might all kill ourselves like it's no big deal
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@BMcCarthy32: NFL catch rules are absurd. "Even though it looked like he caught it, he hadn't accepted the ball into his heart. Therefore, incomplete."
@iGreenMonk: Son:Dad, what is 'creeping inflation'? Father:It's when your mother starts out asking for new shoes and ends up with a complete new outfit.
@ArfMeasures: WEBSITE CEO: We need a fool-proof way to ensure everyone who enters the site is over 18 "What about clicking on a button that says I'm over 18?" WEBSITE CEO: Bob, you have done it again
@thevickster_sa: ~At a snowboarding store. Him: you need a base grind and a wax, it's been a while. Me: i know Him:... Me: Wait, what, oh the board...