@myonlymizztake: Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons.
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@Slims_Ramblings: Confidence should never be confused with arrogance. Arrogance is spelled way differently.
@WheelTod: Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph.
@batkaren: *Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
@MooseChuckleTag: #CanadianFakeNews Police in Northern Ontario are warning citizens of a vicious moose gang after one man was abducted and tied to the roof of his own pickup truck