@stonedcoldlazy: Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics
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@NurseMurderer: Backstreet Boys: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely. Me: *slow dances with cats around a pot of mac & cheese*
@Tmoney68: Why stop at 7-layer dip? Make it 15 layers. 25. Go nuts. There is literally no one policing this.
@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
@SirEviscerate: *holding huge scissors* I hereby declare The Factory That Makes High Voltage Wires That Look Like Ceremonial Ribbons officially open for-