@stonedcoldlazy: Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics
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@LittleMissZesty: No matter how good your raspberry body wash smells, don't be tempted to drizzle it over your ice cream. I've been burping bubbles for days.
@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
@greg_vee: If I'd know I only had 4 decent tweets in me when I started, I'd have spread them out a little more.