@ch000ch: got bored and went to Home Depot wearing an orange apron to see how good i am at making up answers to peoples home repair questions
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@Mr_Kapowski: My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"
@FunkyFresh_79: [runs inside of a gas station] "I NEED TO USE YOUR BATHROOM! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" *takes a selfie in the bathroom mirror for an IG # game
@Tmoney68: "Congratulations on the baby! Childbirth is so beautiful!" - Someone who has clearly never witnessed the birth of a child.
@abysmalkittybee: I never let people borrow my shoes, because if they walk a mile in them they'll know how much I exaggerate my problems.