@elle91: Got fired from the duty free store for never showing up which is very misleading and also bullshit.
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@Mr_Kapowski: [1st day in Hell] Satan: *giving impassioned speech* AND THE HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE- Me: *raises hand* What time are snacks? Satan: *eyes narrow* SNACKS?! Me: Ya, snacks Satan: Me: Satan: 3 pm
@TheWoodenslurpy: [commercial for gymnastics] Want to delay menarche and stunt your lumbar growth, but also risk getting crotch punched by a four-inch beam?
@snowmedia: My 3 yr old is so encouraging. I changed my shirt; she says"Daddy, you did it!" If she finds out I use the potty by myself, she'll flip out.
@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like a star, be lonely and distant & allow nothing to survive on your surface.