@BrendanMcKeigan: Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling "LET THE BEETS DROP!" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable.
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@thetits: Nice empty fish tank It'd be a shame if someone were to FILL IT WITH SNAKES! *the terrarium is invented*
@Tommytoughstuff: [Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it.
@Elizasoul80: Does anyone ever put a chip with too much dip on it into their mouth, then shove a second chip in there to even out the chip to dip ratio?
@ArfMeasures: OWNER: The museum's ready? ME: All the artichokes are in place OWNER: Ha, you mean artifacts [I slam the door shut] ME: U cannot go in there