@BrendanMcKeigan: Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling "LET THE BEETS DROP!" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable.
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@dire_beard: [At a child's birthday party, holding a poorly taxidermied possum] I heard someone likes stuffed animals!
@brunopieroni: I'm starting a Kickstarter to bring a lion from Africa and let it loose in a dentist's office.
@Swishergirl24: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead
@SirEviscerate: You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!