@fillthevacuum: Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I'd lost.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: If a tree falls in the woods can I stand under it so I don't have to go to work tomorrow?
@pattymo: "And the guy's name was Anthony WEINER? Come on" - high school AP U.S. history student, 2046
@WilliamAder: I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.
@LeahsLounge: I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.