@Harbinger_one: Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WilliamAder: It takes a long time to delete 900 million dollars worth of stuff from an Amazon shopping cart.
@LizHackett: Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it's actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us.
@Chumpstring: I never claimed to have all the answers. I said two. I have two answers. There's a guy in Nebraska who has six. Go bother him.
@nurserycrimes: a romantic scene where we're running toward each other but then i run past you and pick up your dog