@catstronomical: *grabbing my own shoulders and shaking myself* PLEASE, for the love of god, just tell me what you want
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@shadonium: Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*
@Gupton68: The only thing worse than discovering that celery is an aphrodisiac, is knowing that people who eat celery may actually have sex.
@ruinedpicnic: parents, think twice before dressing your child as Cecil the Lion this year. my son will be dressed as a dentist, and I gave him a real gun
@Prof_Hinkley: [commercial for tupperware] Are you done with that food, but would rather throw it away in 3 weeks rather than right now? - Tupperware