@catstronomical: *grabbing my own shoulders and shaking myself* PLEASE, for the love of god, just tell me what you want
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@panmidwest: ME: what language is this BING: croatian ME: nice what does it say BING: how the heck would I know
@WeissBrandon: YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store.
@CulturedRuffian: 'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.' -Moms
@obijawn: Me: *throwing away all the lettuce* Wife: oh, you already heard about the recall Me: What recall?