@Jackiethepaper: Grandma's funeral ft. Pitbull
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@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
@aprilmaywilson: Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to show up at your therapist's home to swim in her new pool even though your 'boundary issues' paid for it.
@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable.