@TheTweetOfGod: Great news! Chipotle is giving out thousands of free burritos tomorrow! That means I’ll be seeing thousands of you by this weekend!
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@carlyken: [bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.
@JihadPizza: Youtube is the only place where you'll find people arguing about religion in the comments of a snowboarding video.