@TheTweetOfGod: Great news! Chipotle is giving out thousands of free burritos tomorrow! That means I’ll be seeing thousands of you by this weekend!
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@stevevsninjas: Science will never be able to determine the number of sheep in a flock, because no observer can stay awake long enough.
@Izianikapani: My kids don't drive me to drink. Can't wait until they get their license and they can though.
@WilliamAder: Boss set out a bowl of hard candy in the break room, so I guess we had our Christmas party today.