@tarashoe: gross i hate the word moist! give me a wet cake. give me a wet, damp cupcake
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@causticbob: I started a petition to ban people from collecting autographs. So far I've got 50,000 signatures.
@JediGigi: Him:You married? Me:Aww You think I'm that pretty? H:Ma'am just filling out your pape- M:SO I'M UGLY? H:I'll tell the therapist to hurry
@bourgeoisalien: Saw 8 vasectomy billboards on my 4 hour road trip through Florida yesterday. It's like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida.
@stevevsninjas: Aragorn: If I can protect you, I will. You have my sword Legolas: And you have my bow Gimli: and my axe Steve: and my 439 Twitter followers