@tarashoe: gross i hate the word moist! give me a wet cake. give me a wet, damp cupcake
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@Cool_Jesse: That's the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he's a wizard.
@Marcmywords2: Hey Dad, your neighbor called, they wanna know if you could turn down your TV, they've already heard this episode of Law & Order.
@brennadine: "How hard up for cash do you have to be to wear a chicken suit & wave at cars," I think, adjusting the beak protruding from my forehead
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun