@JennyJohnsonHi5: Guess who doesn't want to hear your kid sing? Everyone. The answer is everyone, so stop it.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Can I bring my wife? Travel Agent: Of course Me: But I'm hetero. Does that matter? Travel Agent: Do you think I'm saying Gayman Islands?
@KalvinMacleod: ME: where's your brother? OLDEST CHILD: where's another roll of duct tape? ME: *sprints to the basement*
@Epygma: Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says "buy me some time" and the guy goes and buys him a clock