@usermcuserface: Guy behind me in line at the gas station was standing close enough to reenact the pottery scene from ghost.
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@NintenDom: Lame! I was tricked into watching PS, I Love You! It's definitely NOT about a guy that marries his PlayStation.
@ThePocketJustin: Draw attention to your older tweets by being arrested on suspicion of multiple murders.
@pleatedjeans: worst place to be stung by bees is the club bc it just looks like you're doing cool dance moves & sure u win the dance off but at what cost
@WilliamAder: Why hang Wanted posters in the post office? We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.