@MrsTomServo: Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That's correct, son.
@djdarrellripley: I am absolutely no good at dumping people. I couldn't even bring myself to switch drycleaners until my old one died...
@Donna_Gallers: Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
@mantej: Mother's may get a day, but shark's get a whole week! Mom sharks get 1 week AND a day. ...don't even get me started on black shark moms.