@MrsTomServo: Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.
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@000___000: "daddy why did the moon turn red?" "because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"
@EliTerry: I wanna see some BUTTS on da dance floor! ONLY butts. Detached from their owners, just kinda in a pile. In the middle. Nice. Good butt pile.
@LeviathanPride: Overheard this locker room convo: "The new school janitor is weird. He's always hiding in here when we're showering". I took my mop and left
@kelownagoose: Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.