@Ristolable: Guy on fb posted a picture of his baby w/ the caption "1st Easter!" Hell no, there have been like 2000, we're not starting over just for him
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@Book_Krazy: Her: How's your drink? Me: It's ok. I can't taste the alcohol though Her:That's cause we're at the gym and its a protein shake
@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my "boys room" a new 4 inch TV.
@noogscorner: Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No.