@SonOfCha: Guy on SportsCenter just said Tiger Woods is "swinging a mean stick", so look out, ladies. He's back.
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@Brampersandon_: BOUNCER: *checking ID* this doesn't look like you CATERPILLAR: *adjusts makeshift wings* its me B: oh yeah? Fly then C: uh *starts sweating*
@dulcetry: I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place
@trojansauce: ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope