@KKAlThani: If "Bieber fever" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once.

@Marlebean: *renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*

@HomeProbably: When someone asks for advice about dumping their partner, they don't mean in the woods. I know that now.

@splendidcynic: I don't really pay much attention to politics so basically what I'm asking is, does anyone know if it's still illegal to sell kids on eBay?

@_NTFG_: People say love is the best feeling in the world, but I think finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is better.