@truegritrumble: GUY WHO INVENTED JACK-O-LANTERNS: I bet this gourd would be cooler if it looked like it wanted to murder me.
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@StellaGMaddox: My daughter wrote, "I will see you every day of our lives," on my Mother's Day card, so I guess we've resorted to threats now.
@ilovepie84: I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
@TheAlexNevil: Remember, parents: your children look to you for guidance. Kids are dumb like that.