@angeliav68: Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they'll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food..
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@ObscureGent: Nobody discretely coughs blood into a handkerchief while wearing a top hat anymore.
@cat_whisperer_: Breaking: New torture report reveals CIA use of Facebook Year In Review videos.
@TheSnideOne: What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?" What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."
@KKAlThani: "So tell me what you want, what you really, really want" - a hilarious waiter taking a Spice Girl's order