@damakattack: Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on
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@TheSharona06: I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so
@KalvinMacleod: DOG 911: what's the emergency? DOG: a boy threw a ball but I can’t find it DOG 911: did u check his hand? DOG: of course I checked hi—DAMMIT
@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late
@WheelTod: Saw a standup duo last night. One totally died on stage. The other killed. Actually, now I think about it, it might have been a cage fight.