@MrBikferd: Guys: when you're shaving, do the Hitler part first. You don't want to get interrupted and then be running around with just the Hitler part.
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@maymay72x: Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying.
@ieatanddrink: Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you
@jazmasta: [Walks into steam room at gym] "good morning my.." "Dave no!" "my est.." "Please Dave no.." "..My eSTEAMed colleagues" "Everyone hates you"
@nice_mustard: before mcdonald's i bet "don't buy cheeseburgers from a clown" was a pretty hard and fast rule