@longwall26: haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in
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@sammyrhodes: My 3yr old pooped her big girl panties at church today and I forgot the wipes, in case you were feeling bad about being single today.
@david8hughes: Wife: how much did it cost to rent that bouncy castle? Me: I dunno. Buying it wasn't cheap tho
@BradBroaddus: My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.
@Wine_Honey1: Be careful how much wine you drink, might end up vacuuming the driveway in your panties