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@Mr_Kapowski: [hails Satan]
[Satan pulls up in his cab]
Me: How was school today?
Me: Do anything fun today?
Kid: Guess what happened at school?
@slimmy_shady: Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!
@theroneman: [stacks of books on floor]
[son places pizza on one stack, soda & cookies on others]
"Yep; perfect height" [turns on Xbox]
@1evilidiot: We had a ninja competition tonight but we don't know if anyone showed up.