@DonQuickoats: Hair so long she accidentally flushed herself down the toilet
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@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.
@TheMichaelRock: The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor.
@SortaBad: You're drunk and trying to outrun the cops on horseback but they eventually catch you because it turns out you're just on a carousel
@MrBigFists: Just once I would like to hear an athlete thank God for their talent and their pharmacist for everything God left out.