@D2_Barney_McG: "Half a dozen" because saying '6' is way too long... >_<
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@Jarhead44: I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I'm in.
@ramjitsingh_: It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, "Stay in drugs, don't do school" in a serious tone.
@KeetPotato: "what's your most cherished memory keith?" [looks at my wife and baby in crowd with loving smile] [leans into mic] i heard a dog laugh once