@OnlyFastEddie: Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar
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@bobvulfov: if ur in a horror movie scenario, a fun way to throw off the ghosts is to put a bed sheet over ur head and say "i too am a spooky ghost"
@internetluke: [showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. "You named your daughter Jack?" Nope, mittens
@KeetPotato: [reading message i found in a bottle that drifted onto the beach] to myself: "updog.. what's updog?" [another bottle hits my foot]
@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.