@OnlyFastEddie: Halloween and Valentine's day are pretty much the same thing... people dress up and pretend to be someone they're not for some sugar
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@ProdigyNelson: Bouncer: ID please Me: I got socks for Christmas Bouncer: …okay Me: and I'm genuinely happy about it Bouncer: so sorry come on in
@Dawn_M_: I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades.
@noog: Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? "Regular coffee with cream please" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. "TEN?"
@DanMentos: [taking FRIENDS quiz] 7. Which character do you most identify with? Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character? Ross