@KyleMcDowell86: Has anybody told raccoons about crosswalks?
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@Angibangie: Me: What’s the word for a female scientist? Him: A scientist? Me: No, a ‘ResearcHER,’ Haha get it? Him: I get that we're never going on a second date
@thatUPSdude: I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
@rachelle_mandik: the small child points to my head and chants, i want a balloon, i want a balloon, but changes her tune when i let my head float free
@BrickCh4News: "A black man follows me when it's sunny outside. When it's cloudy, he goes home." "Brick, that's your shadow."