@Bownuggets: Hate it when we run out of clean towels so I have to ride my white stallion Gregory up and down the driveway real fast to dry my mullet
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@WhtUReallyMean: I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic.
@MBittersweet25: You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem
@KamaroPayne: My husband doesn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, when I read all your tweets out loud to him. For 2 hours. Douche.
@ThaJawn: *braids your voodoo doll's hair Me: HAHAHAHA! She will wake up and be like "who braided my hair" HAHAHAHA