@ninjadinosaur1: have a nail gun and some boards laying around? show him you love him by adding some attractive wood paneling to his car
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@RaineyKnight666: Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.
@dumbbeezie: I learned everything I need to know from cats. When things get sketchy, run like hell and then stop and groom yourself
@david8hughes: [throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably.
@HuntPoindexter: My aunt unfriended me on Facebook so I can guarantee you that I will bring it up and ruin Thanksgiving this year.