@ManvAlcohol: Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you're no detective.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@tbhjustkoaIa: i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I’m just like lmao u should see my life
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife acts like she wants to have sex, but then we don't. I googled it, it's called cuddling.
@slaughthie: Whoever speaks at my funeral will probably just look over at my casket and say "well, she was always kind of like this."