@ManvAlcohol: Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you're no detective.
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@Playing_Dad: If I had a time machine, I would go back to the day we first let my daughter watch SpongeBob SquarePants and just destroy our TV
@Tommytoughstuff: *pulls away from kissing* JUDGE: That was unexpected and kind of nice, but you're still guilty.
@Parentpains: Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
@nbadag: BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is