@ManvAlcohol: Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you're no detective.
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@KalvinMacleod: BRAIN: it's 4am u up? ME: leave me alone B: who was our grade 5 teacher? M: stop B: why's our eye itchy? M: I'm ignoring u B: engage bladder
@Token_Geezer: Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don't even walk into the right room
@nbadag: [me giving tour of city landmarks] and on your left you'll see a corgi in a bandana—he's not part of the tour but let's go get a closer look