@Mike_Bianchi: Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
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@sarcasticmommy4: Kids: Yay! Summer break! Me: Not so fast. Let me introduce you to...THE GREAT SUMMER CHORE CHART OF 2017! *3 kids faint, 1 runs away*
@Shelts99: Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next
@Brampersandon_: TRUMP: if elected i'll build a protective wall. I'll call it the great wall *advisor whispers in his ear* i'll call it the really great wall