@natalie2111: Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder "who ties your shoelaces for you?"
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@DanMentos: [first day of work as a 911 operator] "Hello, 911" Hi someone's trying to break into my house "holy shit call 911"
@Elizasoul80: The lack of proof that Robert Downey Jr is stalking me just convinces me that he is very good at it.
@djdarrellripley: Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy.