@natalie2111: Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder "who ties your shoelaces for you?"
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@Malocallidus: I see dead people. Well actually they're stupid people, but give me a few minutes
@brianbowman73: Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?