@birbigs: Have you heard about these cats getting plastic surgery to look like kittens?
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@Matt_The_1st: I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan
@leehopkins: Anti-gay preacher comes to Iceland. Locals buy all tickets to his event in Reykjavik, and then don't turn up, leaving empty arena. Class.
@Sassafrantz: Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys.