@EricaWhoToYou: *power walks to the refrigerator*
@AnkCoupleTO: [2000]
Satan: I need a new idea on how to mess with people
Henchman 1: New STD?
S: No
H2: Incurable virus?
S: No
H3: A cameraphone
S: Nice
@TheToddWilliams: KID: Dad?
DAD: Yes, son
KID: What is the true meaning of Easter?
DAD: Well my boy, when someone wants to go very, very East they g-
KID: Never mind
@AntozWolf: Never ever make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for a long time....
@murrman5: wife: it looks too tight
me: it's fine, let's just go
[ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]
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