@MoistPork: Have your tribal tattoo call my tramp stamp and let's make beautiful, douchey babies together.
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@KentWGraham: I saved a ton of money on cool sports cars, vacation getaways and NFL season tickets by having children.
@hipchkk: If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention.
@imadepoopstoday: I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer.
@notalogin: *overeats sugar* *gets diabetes* *gets limbs amputated* *can finally smile authentically in pics now that not worried what to do with hands*