@MoistPork: Have your tribal tattoo call my tramp stamp and let's make beautiful, douchey babies together.
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@RandySmithWhat: "[I] broke up with him because I was sick of justifying his trench coat to my friends" - Overheard on the bus
@YourTextSpoken: I think it's lame how Justin Bieber has millions of Beliebers yet Queen Latifah only has like 8 Beliefahs.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Can I bring my wife? Travel Agent: Of course Me: But I'm hetero. Does that matter? Travel Agent: Do you think I'm saying Gayman Islands?
@themorris23: Is it just me, or do toasters have like 4 settings too many? They should have 1 setting that reads: "Toast"