@ClaytonSykes: Having a beard makes it easier to hatch a scheme, but it's getting harder and harder to play on a public swing set by myself.
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@SadMeterologist: Airline passenger fell asleep on my shoulder. It was already awkward so I just went ahead & braided her hair.
@marebytes: In my opinion - until they add extra fries, a martini & a joint - they have no business calling it a Happy Meal
@RandiLawson: "Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt!" "DOCTOR PLEASE SHE IS CODING! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"