@bourgeoisalien: Having a kid is great because it's basically an 18 year excuse for being too tired to make plans with people ever again.
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@Amusitr0n: No toilet paper. My training kicks in. I barrel roll under the stall & onto the lap of the person in the next stall. I did not plan for this
@TheAlexNevil: Fantasia gave me unrealistic expectations of how much cleaning a bucket and mop would be motivated to do.
@putyoursisterd1: Possible Fact: If you suffer with freezing cold hands, you are contractually obliged to test their temperature by putting them on people.
@Sassafrantz: My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it.