@MensHumor: Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't.
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@longwall26: Oh, you want to fight? Ok, one second *takes off glasses, removes retainer, unpins towel cape, empties snacks from pockets, sets down kitten
@AndyRichter: If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved