@MensHumor: Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't.
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@StellaRtwot: I never make my guests take their shoes off at the door because it takes them longer to get out when I want them to leave.
@TheAlexP: [1st date] *recalls buddy said women like a manly man* *but also, be sensitive* I like to work with my hands, But splinters make me cry.
@INDlAN_: If you think it hurts to lose a boyfriend/girlfriend, you've clearly never lost close to 500 GB's worth of data on your hard drive.
@jdforshort: Green smoothies because who has the time or energy to chew 17 cups of spinach/lettuce/kale