@Nrvous1: Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in.
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@ceejoyner: When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It's just one boat, how many could there be, they said.
@JoParkerBear: It's like my Grandma always says, "I died three years ago. This is starting to get weird."
@KentWGraham: I just used one of those plastic grocery dividers to let my wife know exactly where the middle of the bed is.
@TheCareBare: "Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning." -me, speaking to this leftover pizza.