@Nrvous1: Having an Internet girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my gut in.
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@TheTalkingPipe: It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It will be my inability to know when I should or shouldn't laugh at something.
@ericsshadow: Doctor: How long has this been bothering you? Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's.
@CoreyKeyz: Don't bring up something I said 30 minutes ago. I'm a different person, I've changed since then.
@chadzappa: is this your first day on the internet? men are men, women are men, and children are cops...