@hazelmotes1: Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car.
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@KeetPotato: co-pilot: "ask in a way that won't panic everyone" pilot: "ok" [via intercom] "is there a fireman on the plane?"
@hazelmotes1: If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done.
@SortaBad: Why are you breaking up with me? "You treat your dog like a baby. It's weird" Shh *puts hands over dog's ears* he's 26 months he understands