@hazelmotes1: Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car.
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@DurtMcHurtt: [Sahara desert] Me: *shares canteen* Companion: *holds it to his mouth but nothing comes out* Me: it's ketchup, you have to wait a bit.
@causticbob: I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.
@iwearaonesie: wife: Feeling better? me: Yeah wife: Kind of overreacted to a cold didn't you? [flashback to me calling the Make-A-Wish Foundation] me: No