@MUMSIEesq: Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@kumailn: What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like "I tried to stab my friend" & his opponents are like "no you didn't."
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
@GrantTanaka: ok kids, this is a smoke detector, if you hear it beeping change the battery, if it's still beeping, check to see if ur on fire