@MUMSIEesq: Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy.
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@truegritrumble: Apparently you can build quite a reputation if you go to all the Christian bookshops and ask if they carry Harry Potter.
@iCumBl00d: Why do they hand out Kleenex at funerals if you're not supposed to jerk off in the back row
@bornmiserable: POLICE: [on bullhorn] PLEASE COME DOWN, EVERYTHING'S FINE ME: [yelling down from ledge] ARE YOU SERIOUS HAVE YOU WATCHED THE NEWS AT ALL