@jtrulez: Having my oil changed today, but I need proof it's really changed. I've been hurt by oils before & I'm not going through that again.
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@krisv_723: Sometimes when I'm driving I'm overcome with an urge to run into an overpass pillar. Anyway, I'm Kris & I'll be your Uber driver.
@Book_Krazy: I just found out that all the different colors in Fruit Loops are the same flavor, and now I don't know what's real anymore
@Black__Elvis: Bad news: you're unable to get pregnant. Oh no! Is it my uterus, doctor? No, your eHarmony profile says you've seen Star Wars 13 times.
@BobLoblaw143637: Lying on my bed struggling to squeeze into jeans The dog comes in to show emotional support ... followed by the cat, who came to judge.