@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
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@Overdue_Bills: Please boss, tell us again how important it is the company gets to $3 billion in revenue. I bought an 18 pack of beer with dimes last night.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "There are so many exotic sounding flavours these days. I just can't resist-" Doctor: "YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING SHAMPOO!"
@JessObsess: You really only have 2 options: 1. You can be miserable bc you're fat 2. You can be miserable bc you're hungry
@LurkAtHomeMom: Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.