@Lin_Baker: He asked what my favorite position was... I said CEO
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@MatCro: ME: Man, Nosferatu is a good film HIPSTER: I preferred the original M: Original? What original? H: Nosfera One.
@VenisVal: My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video.
@TheToddWilliams: [back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!