@Ristolable: He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor
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@JaneBadall: When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
@CarolinaSong: I'm at the bar & I'm trying to convince this girl with a leopard print shirt to go & bite this girl with a zebra print shirt.
@Hurly_Burly: 878 dead bodies lay there. Liam Nesson "Are we done?" Police: "Sure, I don't see any reason why we should arrest you."
@ch000ch: hello 9-1-1? my girlfriend's been kidnapped "stay calm sir, what's ur girlfriend's name" oh she goes to another school u wouldn't know her