@protolalia: He paid me $150 for the "girlfriend experience," so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KimmyMonte: I just saw Beauty and the Beast and now all I want to do is live with a water buffalo and talk to my furniture
@sarcasm_inc: HI I SPIT GUM OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY AND IT BLEW BACK IN MY EAR 911: Sir, u need to pull over WHAT 911: Use your other ear, sir WHAT
@SortaBad: Ok No Loitering sign, let's get one thing straight: the type of people who loiter are not the type of people who know what loitering means.