@jnrbtsn: He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it's all screaming and shit.
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@TheFunnyWorId: I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out.
@poopiest: "haha this costume party is great" "sir PLEASE get off the table" "cool librarian costume" *sprays silly string* "hey dude nice police costu