@jnrbtsn: He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it's all screaming and shit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out.
@JosesLovesYou: If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: You each have a gift WORM: What's mine? G: You…spin silk BEE: How bout me? G: Uh…make honey HIPPO: And me? G: Hm…eat marbles