@Douchekevin: Heading out for drinks, bail money's on top of the fridge.
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@MatCro: PROFESSOR X: Quick! Magneto, save that bus full of kids! MAGENTO: I think you've got the wrong guy. *turns everything purple*
@hasht4g: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the new hiding your report card from your parents.