@Douchekevin: Heading out for drinks, bail money's on top of the fridge.
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@sageboggs: Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake
@ericsshadow: If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors
@JimGaffigan: "Hey you know how everyone's favorite part of the sandwich is the meat, let's add an extra slice of bread?" - Inventor of club sandwich
@Hobo_Splendido: The "self-lubricated catheter" and the "discreet pocket catheter" have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life.