@weinerdog4life: If you see a cat with a dart in it, that's my cat and I need him back, we aren't done yet.

@iamspacegirl: God *twisting an owl*: I can't get this damn jar open.

@Playing_Dad: Customer Service Person: is there anything else I can help you with today? Me: Is this a date? It feels like a date now.

@partlyfunny: If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.

@kristendrum: this makes sense